“And why the sea is boiling hot— And whether pigs have wings.”~ {The Walrus}

As the outdoor, wobbly walk way to the backstage area creaked and groaned beneath our feet, the Bull Frogs would wake up and start to sing like a chorus of Tubas; promb, promb, prommmp.

It was Thailand – Phuket in the 1990s. We were living in a deserted hotel on Karon beach. Being tuk-tuk’d to work everyday, we would arrive at the luxurious Meridian Hotel on the beach. The entranced yawning under it’s statuesque vaulted ceilings.

Buried deep beneath the pristine guest area was the underground passages for the staff. We would find our dressing room.

Did ‘Arm’ (our seamstress) clear the snakes out of the way before we entered? yes.

Did a mice eat our pointe shoes? yes.

Did we pass baby elephants occasionally on there way to the pool side to entertain the guest? Unfortunately, also yes.

Once vocal warm up and make up were complete, we donned our Cast robes. We would then gather our pre-sets in a woven basket and make our way to the stage.

The stage was a grand and austere affair, floating on top of an enormous wrap around swimming pool. Between us and the dinner guests (our audience), was a moat that glittered under the stage lights.

We performed in the extreme, oppressive heat under the moonlit sky. Praying Mantis would land directly by our sides, attracted to the spotlight. Big, lazy millipedes the size of sausages would lethargically ripple over our feet if we stood still too long.

The audience were terrible, too busy eating (and it’s not customary to be loud, so their spasmodic claps were barely audible).

The fireworks at the end of every Friday show were spectacular. The last performance on our run, sweat soaked, we all decided to jump from our bow, straight off the front of stage, into the pool. Donned in our “Chorus Line” costumes…(the hats were ruined) we emerged bedraggled with makeup running down our faces.

It seemed like a great idea to cause a big splash, but the anticlimax of us all spluttering and very slowly swimming to the backstage area, in silence, was so funny.

Ah Thailand. You were a gift.