The ray of light, the empath, the joker, the carer.
We hear so often…”But they were so happy?! How shocking…not them surely?”
Yet everyone I know who has battled with suicidal thoughts…has been the most generous, warm, smiley, gregarious human.
I find….in general, people who are riddled with mental illness are often, also, full of life and humour.
“I mustn’t complain, I mustn’t bring people down, everyone else has problems too, no-one wants to listen to my moaning. I need to make sure everyone is ok….life is difficult enough, make em’ laugh, make em’ laaaaugh”.
I once new a particularly beautiful soul. He was the ‘life of the party’. In Fact he was planning a huge party the last time I saw him. “Please come.” he said, “It’s next Thursday, everyone I love will be there”.
He was found that night having died by suicide.
He had been planning his own funeral.
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Language matters.
We do not say ‘commit suicide’.
We say “Death by suicide.”
Suicide is the result of being extremely ill. No-one in their rational mind would be able to go through with it. It takes a very poorly brain. Like a friend who truly believes they are doing the best thing for everyone else. It takes over. “Let me release the burden you are on others” it says.
Suicide is a result of desperate pain and anguish and illness.
It IS the ‘happy people’, unable to express sadness for fear of upsetting others. It is the funny people, wanting to make everyone in the room full of joy.
It is a human act, by humans who are desperately ill.
How complex we are.
Let’s continue to learn, talk and share. Let’s continue to change the language around suicide and mental illness. Let’s continue to reassure the ‘happy’ people, they’re not a burden when they’re sad.
Let’s grieve and learn together.
'Curioser and Curioser' {Alice} 